Well, we have some good news that may come as a shock to you, or maybe not...................
We have decided to adopt a little boy from Haiti!!!!!
His name is Sebastian and he is 5 months old. I'm still not quite sure how it all happened but I will try and tell you what I know...
I spoke to Eric on Friday while he was in Haiti, and I asked him if there were any new babies in the orphanage. (Why I asked this, I have NO idea) He told me yes, there were 3 new babies.
So I told him to take some pictures of them and send them to me. Still, not sure why I asked him to do that.....I had no intention of EVER adopting from Haiti, even though it was something Eric always made clear he would love to do.
So, he went in the "baby room", which he hadn't really done up until this point since he's not really a "baby person" and he held all 3 of them. When he held Sebastian, he said he felt like he really responded to him. But even before he told me that, I saw the pictures of the babies and didn't feel much of anything with the 2(other than they were cute...), but when I saw him, I couldn't stop staring. He is so adorable and his eyes just drew me in. It wasn't exactly like when I first saw Mia's picture, but I have to say, it was pretty close. The more I looked at him, the more I started to feel like maybe this could be our son...
So, I told Eric to take a ton of pictures and video...
When he came home, he showed me the pictures and when I watched the video, I started to cry!!!! I think, that was the moment I knew...
But, I didn't want to rush into things because of emotion, so I told him I didn't want to officially decide til tomorrow. So we put him on "prayer hold", which is what you do when you think you may want to adopt a child.
So, since then, I've been looking at his pictures and video, praying about it, talking about it and I have not had one moment that tells me NO. I even wake up thinking about him and feeling happy....I feel like it's the right time (since it takes like 2 years!), he's the right age (he'll come home around the same age Mia was,which is 2 1/2), we aren't getting any younger (40!!!) and since Eric's on the board at the orphanage, we can pretty much go visit any time we want. The $$$ of course, is an issue, but we never worried about it with Mia and if this is meant to be, we know it'll be fine. God will provide what we need to bring him home.
I think I've been fearful for a long time, due to a lot of things, but mostly the way I've been feeling, physically. And in turn, emotionally. I wake up pretty much every morning and feel very tired and not very well and the doctors haven't really been able to figure it out yet. I've taken lots of tests, done a sleep test, tried different medications but nothing seems to work yet. But, I figure if I keep waiting and waiting, what if I never feel "perfect"? Then, I will have missed out on a chance to bring a little boy into our family, which is what we both really want. So, I will continue to try and figure out how to feel better and in the meantime, pray that I have the energy and strength to do what I need to do with the adoption. And where I leave off, that's where God comes in and gives me what I need to get through.
We may have blindsided some of you with this. Although, I'm pretty sure you knew this was something that was coming eventually, although we thought it was going to be from Vietnam, but as in Mia's adoption, what we originally thought wasn't what ended up happening...God seems to work that way. Once we think we know something, He throws us a curveball and changes everything! I've learned to love it!
I'm still reeling from all this, but in a good way. When I look at his picture, I just smile and feel love....
I hope you will too, once you meet him.
We've talked to Helayna and Mia about this, and they both are excited about their little brother. Which is quite amazing, since Helayna didn't want us to adopt again anytime soon. But, with this little boy, we're all on the same page. She just smiles when we mention his name. It's so cute!
And she's going to get to meet him in November, when she goes to Haiti on a mission trip with Eric. I thought of going with them, but she really wants it to be a daddy/daughter bonding trip, so I want to honor that. So, I figure I'll go and meet him sometime in early 2010, which is something I never thought I would do...go to Haiti!!! Wow! How a life can change overnight!
I figure that Helayna's the next best thing to me...she can give him lots of love, hugs and kisses and take pics and video for me...that should hold me over til I can go meet him in person.
So.........The wonderful craziness of adoption begins again.....
Please pray for us.:)
xoxo,
Michele
