Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Corruption in Vietnam Adoptions

As the majority of you know, we adopted our sweet Mia from Vietnam in July of 2006, after the program had been shut down for 2 years because of corruption. Now, Vietnam is closed again to any new adoptions for the same reason and nobody has any idea of when they will open back up.

This makes me sad, personally, because I saw, firsthand how many orphaned kids there were in just ONE orphanage there. And there are hundreds of them... So now what happens to those kids? They have to pay the price because there are money-hungry people in the world who don't care about them and would rather they sit in orphanages without a real family while there are hundreds or thousands of willing families who would love to adopt them?
It is just so hard to swallow...
Part of me thinks about how lucky and blessed we are to have brought Mia home when we did, but on the other hand, it's hard not to think of all the kids that were left behind and may not get homes for years.
This is something that is important for us to keep up with, as adoptive parents, since Mia will most likely want to know more details as she gets older.
Also, we would love to adopt a little boy one day and our obvious first choice would be from Vietnam.
So, here is a blog that I found on this subject that tells all about what's going on with Vietnamese adoptions now:



Corruption in Vietnam Adoptions

The Washington Post, today, printed this short yet powerful look at International Adoption. Of specific interest to those of us involved in adoptions from Vietnam is this bit:

A cable from the U.S. embassy in Vietnam, recently obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request by the Schuster Institute for Investigative Journalism, said that, “while there are legitimate orphans in Vietnam, the corruption in the adoption process has become so widespread that [the embassy] believes that there is fraud in the overwhelming majority of cases of infants offered for international adoption.”

This is the first time we have really heard that fraud has tainted the vast majority of adoptions. This is a hard pill to swallow and certain one that conflicts with what we’ve heard from such Agency Advocacy organizations as JCICS who, in their most recent position paper, refer to the corruption in Vietnam adoptions as “isolated reports of abuse”.

In fact, the very level of abuse and fraud is something that interests many. Some believe that the US government is grossly exaggerating the level of corruption. Others believe that the corruption has been much closer to the statement from the US Embassy, above, and this only verifies what has long been understood and experienced first hand.

Meanwhile adoptions continue in Vietnam with families still awaiting I600 approval for referrals received before the shutdown and some families fighting to bring home the babies they were referred after the shutdown or for whom they received a NOID. Simultaneously, both the US government and Vietnam’s government have received pressure from American citizens and Agency lobby groups to arrive at a new agreement and open doors to US-Vietnam adoptions again, as soon as possible. Truly every orphan without a chance at reuniting with their natural family or being adopted domestically in Vietnam deserves the chance at a permanent stable family abroad. But is it wise, given the extent of fraud that exists, to rush a new agreement that may inadvertently continue to hurt the very orphans we hope to help?

We may never know the true extent of corruption in Vietnam but for those of us who have already completed our adoptions, it is important that we keep abreast of these investigations and studies as they supply vital pieces of information that will be of value as our adopted children grow. It is tempting to be convinced that certainly our own adoptions could not have been tainted but the reality is that few of us can say with complete certainty that our adoption process was untouched by any fraud or corruption. Our children will have questions and eventually they will have the means to research their own answers. Meanwhile we can do the best we can to read, with an open heart and mind, the information as it becomes available that might lead us to a better understanding of the true situation that existed during the 2006-2008 span of adoptions in Vietnam.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Christmas 2008

me and my sisEli, Chloe, Elena and Mia

Mia with her daddy on Christmas morningCute Nicolas and his Spiderman scooter
Marla and Livvie

Christmas 2008

My handsome nephew, Hunter, opening up his gifts
Mia and Missy
The beautiful Enstad girls with my beautiful Helayna
Sweet little Livvie Lu
My gorgeous girls who I love more than life itself!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Helayna's 13th Birthday!

sweet sisters
helayna after getting her hair done by Auntie Marlain front of a yummy cupcake shop we went to before the mall

Helayna didn't want a party this year. She just wanted to go to the mall with her best friend, Kendall. So, we had lunch, shopped ALL day, had a sleepover and then took her to her favorite restaurant, Outback for her birthday......simple but fun!

helayna and kendall, best friends since age 2
getting a snack after all that shopping!
the birthday princess


Well, my first "baby" is officially a teenager!!! I cannot believe it! I feel like she was 8 years old yesterday and a little girl...now she is growing into a VERY tall, beautiful young lady who has a mind of her own and doesn't need her mommy so much anymore. She is becoming very independent and testing us constantly to see how far she can push and how serious we are about what we say.
I feel like part of it is because I homeschooled her from 1st through 6th grade, so we became very close and did almost everything together. I knew all her friends and their parents, knew what she was doing every second of the day pretty much and had about as much control as any parent can over the influences in her life.
Now, sending her to school this year has changed many things. I no longer know all her friends, although I do know the ones she considers her "best" friends. I do not know all their parents, although I am trying to get to know them whenever possible. I don't know what she is doing throughout the day and sometimes after school when she has activities and such. She has a cell phone but doesn't always answer it...(which drives me crazy!!!) She makes plans that I don't always 100% approve of, but I try to let her do as much as I am comfortable with. I still say "no", don't get me wrong...but I am trying to "let her go" a little at a time because I know it's what's best for her.
I still look at her as if she is my baby girl and I want to just grab her and pull her on my lap, but it's not so easy now that she's 100 lbs! She is still my sweet Helayna and I know that she will always be, deep inside, but she is definitely changing and has influences that she never had before. I guess it's a normal part of life...she can't always be a momma's girl...but it's hard for me to let her go and be her own person and leave me behind, in a sense. 
I want her to have friends, have her own life, learn things on her own, have fun and be a kid...but part of me wants to be there to make sure she doesn't get hurt, make mistakes, or be let down. I just want her to be happy and never have to experience heartache or get hurt by anyone or anything and I want to protect her from the world, but I know I can't. I can't be there by her side at all times, and at some point, I have to trust that God is going to take over when I can't be. He will be there to lead her down the right path, protect her and keep her safe and help her to choose what is right and to say no to things that are wrong. I have to trust that we have laid a good foundation down for her and taught her what is most important and that God will be the center of her life, even when she doesn't quite know it yet. 
I know she will question what she has learned, eventually. But, I want her faith to be her own so that's ok. I want her to ask questions and find the answers for herself, not just believe because we told her to. But, I pray that she doesn't stray too far away while she is figuring it all out. I pray that God keeps her close, even in the midst of her doubt, (if she has doubt) and that He will reign her back in quickly.
I just love this child so much that it hurts. She was my first child and will always be my baby. She is a blessing to us every single day and sometimes I can't believe we're raised such an amazing child. She is kind, funny, sweet, beautiful, artistic, smart, and very grown up for her age. She has an inner kindness and beauty that some people are lucky to see. I am so proud of her and hope that I can always show her that. Of course, we have our "moments" and she has normal teenager behaviors that aren't so fun for us...but I know that deep inside, she is my sweet Helayna and that we can get through these next few years as long as we keep communicating and being honest with each other. And of course, with God's help.
Helayna....I couldn't ask for anything more in a daughter. I love you so very much and hope that you always know that.
Only 3 more years til she drives!!!! yikes!!!!!