Helayna starts 7th grade

Eating breakfast before school

Look mom! I can tie my own shoes!

Ready to go!

Kendall and Helayna, all set for 7th grade!

Well, Helayna started going to school after me homeschooling her since 1st grade!

I still can't believe it sometimes, as I really thought I'd keep her home for at least 2 more years and possibly, through high school. Eric always thought we'd send her to high school and I would just ignore him when he talked about it... I just didn't want to let my little girl go....

When we originally decided to homeschool her, she had been going to a private Christian school for preschool and pre K. It was great and I had no complaints, until we got the bill for 1st grade! Eric took one look at it and said, "Ok, why don't you homeschool her?" I had been talking about it since she was 2 years old and felt like it was something that God wanted me to do, but Eric was never 100% sold on it. He thought like most people do that don't know about it, that it was "weird", that homeschooled kids aren't "socialized" and that they basically sit in a room by themselves and become social outcasts...

Well, after doing it for 6 years, I can say that none of that is true...at least for Helayna. I'm sure there are those rare cases where weird things take place, but that happens with kids that go to school too. Helayna thrived while being homeschooled, had tons of friends, went on field trips all the time, participated in science, history and art fairs and got mostly A's. (with a few exceptions, of course!) As the years went on, it became more challenging for both of us. Less kids are homeschooled in the later years and her friends started moving or going to school. We would still attend "park day" once a week where she did PE and hung out with friends, but she was becoming more and more resistant to going. I didn't like to see this in her, since she is normally so social. I started thinking that maybe we needed to find another homeschool group with older kids. But when I researched it, nothing appealed to me.

I talked to friends that had sent their kids to school, friends that were thinking about it, friends who already had kids in school and nothing was ever clear to me. I would change my mind from week to week. When I would ask Helayna if she wanted to go to school, she could never give me a yes or no.

Part of this, I'm sure was due to fear of the unknown and also thinking that I didn't want her to go.

So, about a year or so after I started having these feelings of "should I send her, or shouldn't I?", I got a card in the mail, advertising a new charter "preparatory" school that was opening in the fall. It said on the front "Prep for college, Prep for Life" and that intrigued me.

So, I read on and was intrigued even more. No other school before had ever interested me enough to even find out about it but this one did.

So, I showed it to Eric and Helayna and we went to an information meeting. After listening to the principal talk about the school and their vision, we were hooked instantly. I felt like God told me "This is the place for her!". So, I went for it and told her she could go.

Well, of course, I had second thoughts a day or two later, thinking, what am I doing? I'm letting my daughter go,who I've had home for 6 years...and I don't want her to go!!! I want her home with ME, I want ME to be able to protect and influence her, ME, ME, ME....and then, I realized..........it's not about ME! It's about Helayna...and God told me to let her go...and not just to school...to let her go....and grow up like she needs to. Make her own decisions, mistakes and learn from them. Let her go and explore things a kid needs to explore, let her go and experience life as a teenager (yikes!), let her go and live her God-given destiny. I can't do that for her, she has to do it on her own. Of course, the one thing I can cling to is that we have laid a foundation for her and she can't lose that. She may push it aside, but it will always be there.

Her relationship with God and her relationship with us will always ground her, I hope, and although she may have moments where she will stray, I have to believe she will always come back.

I have to trust that God has a plan for her and she has to find that on her own. I also have to trust that He will protect her and hold her safely in His arms.

This is the only way I have been able to let go of my hold on her. It's a hold that I needed to have when she was younger, but as she has grown, it needed to be let go of. I will still be here for her, whenever she needs me, to guide her, help her, love her and discipline her when needed. And we are still going to have rules, but they will be a little more lenient as she earns trust from us.

She has made us so proud and is becoming exactly the young lady that I always hoped she would be. She is responsible, honest, trustworthy and caring. Of course, she can be a big stinker at times, but it wouldn't be normal if she weren't. She has a great relationship with us, with her sister and with her grandparents, aunts and uncles. She is so mature at times, i forget that she's only 12. But then, get her with her friends and I remember how young she really is...they are so silly! But I love every minute of it. I love seeing her let loose and be crazy silly with them. I never want her to take herself too seriously. But, I do believe she knows the time and place for that.

Helayna has been babysitting for our church functions and has acted very responsible when she has made a commitment. She loves the kids and already has favorites that don't want her to put them down!

She is loving ballet and tap and is even thinking of trying out for the Troupe. She goes to church youth group once a week and will start going into the community to do outreach with them. She wanted to go to Haiti with Eric next year, but now that she's in school, she is bound by their breaks and her spring break is later than the trip so she won't be able to go this time. (which, to be honest, is ok with me!!!)

Gosh, there's so much more I could write....but I will just say that this is a new chapter in our lives and I'm excited to see where it will take us, especially Helayna.

More soon...:)

Love,

Michele