A true AZ Diamondbacks fan already!!!
Look at those lips!!!!
So cute!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Pics of our baby boy:)
Dad and son
So happy....
Cuddling....
Helayna, reading the HUG book Mia sent for him
D Backs!
Reading together
So precious!!!!
I wonder who put the hat on him??? hmmm....
Sleepy head
Fell asleep in his sister's arms....
Look at that face!
teething, for sure!
Helayna, holding Sebastian in the new blankie she picked for him
Eric making Sebastian laugh
Does he look happy, or what?
love this one!!!!
Wheeee!!!! not too high, Daddy, or mommy will be mad!!!
Helayna and her brother, having fun!
Too adorable, I can't stand it!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I LOVE PARKWAY/ A Thousand Questions
This is an incredible video that we watched at church.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiNBmNl88Pk
It also prompted me to write this....
Tonight I went to a dinner at Parkway and I had some thoughts I want to share. I was there, doing something that I've come to love, which is serving on the hospitality team. Which, is basically, setting up, serving food/drinks, cleaning up, etc. Tonight's event was catered so we were just there to help out as needed. I love this ministry because first of all, it's one of the gifts God has given me and I love using it. Secondly, I love serving the family of PCC in any way that I can and this is a small way that I can do that.
So, tonight, a few people stood up and spoke at the dinner, and one of the staff talked about how he loves Parkway, how the pastor and people are so "real", another talked about how much her and her husband had been changed since they started attending. All of the people who spoke were funny, honest, "real" and I thought to myself, this is a perfect example of the family of Parkway.
It also got me thinking about how blessed I feel to be a part of that family.
We watched a video called "A Thousand Questions" and it was basically about how there is so much evil, hate, violence, hunger, poverty, etc..in the world, but there are people who say "Here am I, Send Me" and ask God to send them out into that world to change it for the better. No matter where in the world that is, they GO. They don't ask why, how, what? They just GO. No questions asked...no fear, no doubts (well, maybe a few...) but they follow God's will and plan for their lives and are able to change it, a little at a time.
When we started coming to PCC about 5 years ago, we were different people. Every person we have met, the experiences we have had and the way we have grown has been directly caused by us attending Parkway. God led us to this church for a reason and I have only seen a small part of that and I know there is much more to come.
My husband is a different person than when we first started coming to PCC. He is now the missions director and sets up all the mission trips for the church. We both feel he was meant to do this, and wish he could do it as his full time job...People that knew him 15-20 years ago would NOT recognize the person he has become and I am proud to say he is my husband.
He left this morning for his 5th trip to an orphange in Haiti, where he loves to go and this time, he took our 13 yr old., Helayna.
She has wanted to go for about 2 years, but I have to admit, I was scared.... and just recently, I told her she could go after hearing a missionary speak about how "we are never safer than in the middle of God's will". It is a hard thing to allow your baby to go to a 3rd world country, but when you know she is doing God's will, it's a hard thing not to let her go. How could I? So, I "let her go"...not just to Haiti, but in general.
I don't think that, 5 years ago, they would be going to Haiti. I think we would've found excuses not to go. Whether it be money, time, fear....But I think we all agree now, that when God calls you to do something or to GO somewhere, you GO...no matter what. And I am so proud of Eric and Helayna for doing just that. While I was watching the video, I thought of them and I realized that they are doing exactly what they were meant to do. It made me cry.
My teenager is going to Haiti, to an orphanage to serve and love those who are in poverty and need it. If not her, than who?
I think, so often, we are scared to GO and do what we feel we should...but if not us, than who? We all should be willing to say "Here am I, Send Me" and not give it a second thought. If we could all do that, this world would start to be a better place. But it's hard....and scary....
I was so sad this morning when Helayna left, and my Parkway family came through for me...I got texts, emails and calls, asking how I was. And then tonight, at the church, my friends came up and gave me hugs and asked how I was doing. I could tell they understood and knew how hard it was for me to let her go. But, to have those people there who care enough to ask, is a wonderful feeling and I am so thankful for them.
Parkway is going to be BIG. I can feel it and I know it, in my heart. And not only the building, but the church itself. I am thrilled to see that 2nd building starting to be built because I know it's going to affect many people and I can't wait to see that.
That it's going to be big isn't the most exciting part, though. Like Trent always says, it's just a building. It's the people inside that matter, that are the church. And I have found this, 100% to be true.
I see how packed we are, and how you can't walk down the hallway without bumping into someone...which is sometimes fun, since you see so many people you know...but sometimes, it's not so great, like on those HOT summer days when you'd rather not bump into other people!!! Having a bigger building will allow others in Surprise to come and see what we're all about and join in on the wonderful things that are happening....and I can't wait to see that happen.
I love this place so much and I never want to leave. I want to be here to see it grow and to be a part of that growth. I feel entirely blessed that my family is a part of the Parkway family and I love and appreciate ever single person who has affected our lives there.
There is something different and wonderful about it and I can't imagine our lives without Parkway in it.
So, thank you to Trent, for being "real", for being a wonderful teacher and a huge part of our growth. Also, for inspiring me to be a better person and Christian and for challenging me, constantly. Once we stop being challenged, I think we stop growing and I never want that to happen. I respect and admire you for the leader you are and I think your honesty is infectious. You have changed our family and I thank you for the part you have played in our growth.
Thank you to my family at Parkway. There are so many of you who I love, admire, respect and appreciate. You are there for me, when I need you and I am constantly reminded of what a true Christian family is. You help hold me up when I am down...I was so sad this morning, but when I heard your messages or saw you tonight, I felt the sadness lift a little. I felt loved and supported and isn't that what family is? When i am going through something, and you are praying for me, I feel your support and it helps me to get through whatever it is. It makes me feel "protected" in a way. I also feel appreciated for what I do there and even though it's not necessary, it sure helps!
I can't say enough about how much I love Parkway, but this is just a little example of how I feel.
xoxoxo
Michele
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiNBmNl88Pk
It also prompted me to write this....
Tonight I went to a dinner at Parkway and I had some thoughts I want to share. I was there, doing something that I've come to love, which is serving on the hospitality team. Which, is basically, setting up, serving food/drinks, cleaning up, etc. Tonight's event was catered so we were just there to help out as needed. I love this ministry because first of all, it's one of the gifts God has given me and I love using it. Secondly, I love serving the family of PCC in any way that I can and this is a small way that I can do that.
So, tonight, a few people stood up and spoke at the dinner, and one of the staff talked about how he loves Parkway, how the pastor and people are so "real", another talked about how much her and her husband had been changed since they started attending. All of the people who spoke were funny, honest, "real" and I thought to myself, this is a perfect example of the family of Parkway.
It also got me thinking about how blessed I feel to be a part of that family.
We watched a video called "A Thousand Questions" and it was basically about how there is so much evil, hate, violence, hunger, poverty, etc..in the world, but there are people who say "Here am I, Send Me" and ask God to send them out into that world to change it for the better. No matter where in the world that is, they GO. They don't ask why, how, what? They just GO. No questions asked...no fear, no doubts (well, maybe a few...) but they follow God's will and plan for their lives and are able to change it, a little at a time.
When we started coming to PCC about 5 years ago, we were different people. Every person we have met, the experiences we have had and the way we have grown has been directly caused by us attending Parkway. God led us to this church for a reason and I have only seen a small part of that and I know there is much more to come.
My husband is a different person than when we first started coming to PCC. He is now the missions director and sets up all the mission trips for the church. We both feel he was meant to do this, and wish he could do it as his full time job...People that knew him 15-20 years ago would NOT recognize the person he has become and I am proud to say he is my husband.
He left this morning for his 5th trip to an orphange in Haiti, where he loves to go and this time, he took our 13 yr old., Helayna.
She has wanted to go for about 2 years, but I have to admit, I was scared.... and just recently, I told her she could go after hearing a missionary speak about how "we are never safer than in the middle of God's will". It is a hard thing to allow your baby to go to a 3rd world country, but when you know she is doing God's will, it's a hard thing not to let her go. How could I? So, I "let her go"...not just to Haiti, but in general.
I don't think that, 5 years ago, they would be going to Haiti. I think we would've found excuses not to go. Whether it be money, time, fear....But I think we all agree now, that when God calls you to do something or to GO somewhere, you GO...no matter what. And I am so proud of Eric and Helayna for doing just that. While I was watching the video, I thought of them and I realized that they are doing exactly what they were meant to do. It made me cry.
My teenager is going to Haiti, to an orphanage to serve and love those who are in poverty and need it. If not her, than who?
I think, so often, we are scared to GO and do what we feel we should...but if not us, than who? We all should be willing to say "Here am I, Send Me" and not give it a second thought. If we could all do that, this world would start to be a better place. But it's hard....and scary....
I was so sad this morning when Helayna left, and my Parkway family came through for me...I got texts, emails and calls, asking how I was. And then tonight, at the church, my friends came up and gave me hugs and asked how I was doing. I could tell they understood and knew how hard it was for me to let her go. But, to have those people there who care enough to ask, is a wonderful feeling and I am so thankful for them.
Parkway is going to be BIG. I can feel it and I know it, in my heart. And not only the building, but the church itself. I am thrilled to see that 2nd building starting to be built because I know it's going to affect many people and I can't wait to see that.
That it's going to be big isn't the most exciting part, though. Like Trent always says, it's just a building. It's the people inside that matter, that are the church. And I have found this, 100% to be true.
I see how packed we are, and how you can't walk down the hallway without bumping into someone...which is sometimes fun, since you see so many people you know...but sometimes, it's not so great, like on those HOT summer days when you'd rather not bump into other people!!! Having a bigger building will allow others in Surprise to come and see what we're all about and join in on the wonderful things that are happening....and I can't wait to see that happen.
I love this place so much and I never want to leave. I want to be here to see it grow and to be a part of that growth. I feel entirely blessed that my family is a part of the Parkway family and I love and appreciate ever single person who has affected our lives there.
There is something different and wonderful about it and I can't imagine our lives without Parkway in it.
So, thank you to Trent, for being "real", for being a wonderful teacher and a huge part of our growth. Also, for inspiring me to be a better person and Christian and for challenging me, constantly. Once we stop being challenged, I think we stop growing and I never want that to happen. I respect and admire you for the leader you are and I think your honesty is infectious. You have changed our family and I thank you for the part you have played in our growth.
Thank you to my family at Parkway. There are so many of you who I love, admire, respect and appreciate. You are there for me, when I need you and I am constantly reminded of what a true Christian family is. You help hold me up when I am down...I was so sad this morning, but when I heard your messages or saw you tonight, I felt the sadness lift a little. I felt loved and supported and isn't that what family is? When i am going through something, and you are praying for me, I feel your support and it helps me to get through whatever it is. It makes me feel "protected" in a way. I also feel appreciated for what I do there and even though it's not necessary, it sure helps!
I can't say enough about how much I love Parkway, but this is just a little example of how I feel.
xoxoxo
Michele
Monday, November 9, 2009
What's new with us....
There's a lot
going on at our house....and we're all busy as usual.
We were all hit hard with the flu about a month ago and it was terrible!
It started with me, but I didn't get that bad right away. Then, it was Mia. She was the worst. I have never been so scared....We took her to urgent care during the day, because she had a high fever and was pretty miserable. They told us she had the flu and to bring her back if anything got worse. We checked on her that night before going to bed and her fever was 105! We looked at each other, debated a minute or two whether to bring her in and decided that we'd better. She's never had a fever that high and she's so tiny, we worried about her getting worse in the middle of the night. So, we all headed to the hospital at midnight! We were there until 5am! She was so dehydrated, her heart rate was really fast and they weren't comfortable with letting her go home so they wanted her to keep drinking apple juice, get re hydrated and see if her heart rate slowed...so after 3 cups of juice and about 4 hours later, they felt like we could go home and watch her.
But, I was scared to do that...what if she got worse? Once they mentioned her heart, I was so nervous and didn't know what to do when they gave us the choice to stay and keep monitoring her or go home and watch her....I was like, "watch her for WHAT?" I asked the dr. what he would do if it were his daughter, he told me he would take her home and told me what to watch her for. It was basically that her fever didn't get higher, that she wasn't acting totally "listless" and anything else that made me feel like she was getting worse.
So, I went home all scared and watched her like a hawk....in the meantime, Helayna started to get sick and then Eric...and I started feeling worse too.
So......we all had the H1N1 at the same time!!!!!!! All I remember from most of those 3 weeks was being quite frustrated that I didn't have the energy I needed to make dinner and take care of my family like I wanted to. AND that nobody could take care of me since they were all sick too! I remember sitting on the floor in between Helayna and Mia who were on the couch, Eric in bed...and not quite knowing who to help first....So, I just tried to lie down with them when I could, keep the dishes and laundry going for the most part and that's about it....
It lasted for 3 weeks, on and off....where one of us would feel better and then get sick again...it was just crazy!
But, praise God that we're all better now....
THEN, to make matters worse...I was out the other morning, walking Logan (our husky) and I get a call from Helayna's school telling me that she fainted while giving a report in science! I was like, "what?!?!?!" I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing and my thoughts went to all the symptoms she's complained of lately...stomach issues, headaches, being really tired, etc...and I started to let my mind wander and think the worst....I called my mom crying...thinking, what if something really was wrong with her???? What would I do? How would I get through it? And then I just prayed, really really hard....
I went to pick her up, she looked fine which made me feel better. (a little, at least) and then I took her right into the dr. They sent her for an EKG and bloodwork, and after all that, they've decided that it was a "vasovagal attack", which is the most common type of fainting, esp. in children and young adults. It's caused when blood pressure drops, reducing circulation to the brain while standing up. It may be due to anxiety, fear, pain, emotional stress or hunger.
Some people are more prone to these attacks and they think that Helayna may be. So, she needs to make sure she eats enough if she starts to feel shaky, she needs to sit down.
It was really really really scary....I told her, while she was lying in the hospital bed, getting her EKG, that her and Mia were going to kill me! I can't keep worrying like that!!!!! To have both my kids in the hospital within a month is just too much!!!
But, thankfully, everyone is fine now....
Halloween was fun...Mia was "Belle", Helayna was a ballerina kitty. They were both very cute...and we celebrated 3 times!
We had our small group Halloween potluck, a church potluck that I organized and then Halloween night. We went trick or treating with Mia's best friend, Faith and her parents. Helayna went with 5 friends in our neighborhood and then they all spent the night..yes!...I am crazy, I know! But, they were so good and I like having them here, so I know where my kid is....and they're all good kids. They were home early and were so good, I hardly noticed there were here....well, that may be exaggerating...but they were really fine. I enjoyed having them.
Mia's birthday is in one week!!! She's going to be 6 and I cannot believe it!
We're having a party for her on Sunday. One of my friends does dress up bday parties, so she's coming over and Helayna and her friends are going to help. They're going to dress up, get their hair, makeup and nails done and do a fashion show. Then, we're having some people over for pizza that night.
Helayna and Eric leave for Haiti next Wednesday! They'll be gone for 10 days...I am trying so hard not to be nervous about Helayna going, since I've been stalling for about 2 years...I never wanted her to go but I feel like it's time for me to "let her go" and so I am going to do that....she is so excited and I know Eric's so excited to bring her with so she can see what he does there.
He just loves it there and I have this feeling that she will too. I am just going to pray and pray and know that God will take care of her and keep her safe....and look forward to when they come back so I can hear all about it and see pictures. And I'll talk to them while they're there...even if it costs $300 like last time! (yikes!)
So, please pray for them while they're there...and also for me and Mia while we're home.
That's all I have time for right now....
xoxoxoxo
Mich
going on at our house....and we're all busy as usual.
We were all hit hard with the flu about a month ago and it was terrible!
It started with me, but I didn't get that bad right away. Then, it was Mia. She was the worst. I have never been so scared....We took her to urgent care during the day, because she had a high fever and was pretty miserable. They told us she had the flu and to bring her back if anything got worse. We checked on her that night before going to bed and her fever was 105! We looked at each other, debated a minute or two whether to bring her in and decided that we'd better. She's never had a fever that high and she's so tiny, we worried about her getting worse in the middle of the night. So, we all headed to the hospital at midnight! We were there until 5am! She was so dehydrated, her heart rate was really fast and they weren't comfortable with letting her go home so they wanted her to keep drinking apple juice, get re hydrated and see if her heart rate slowed...so after 3 cups of juice and about 4 hours later, they felt like we could go home and watch her.
But, I was scared to do that...what if she got worse? Once they mentioned her heart, I was so nervous and didn't know what to do when they gave us the choice to stay and keep monitoring her or go home and watch her....I was like, "watch her for WHAT?" I asked the dr. what he would do if it were his daughter, he told me he would take her home and told me what to watch her for. It was basically that her fever didn't get higher, that she wasn't acting totally "listless" and anything else that made me feel like she was getting worse.
So, I went home all scared and watched her like a hawk....in the meantime, Helayna started to get sick and then Eric...and I started feeling worse too.
So......we all had the H1N1 at the same time!!!!!!! All I remember from most of those 3 weeks was being quite frustrated that I didn't have the energy I needed to make dinner and take care of my family like I wanted to. AND that nobody could take care of me since they were all sick too! I remember sitting on the floor in between Helayna and Mia who were on the couch, Eric in bed...and not quite knowing who to help first....So, I just tried to lie down with them when I could, keep the dishes and laundry going for the most part and that's about it....
It lasted for 3 weeks, on and off....where one of us would feel better and then get sick again...it was just crazy!
But, praise God that we're all better now....
THEN, to make matters worse...I was out the other morning, walking Logan (our husky) and I get a call from Helayna's school telling me that she fainted while giving a report in science! I was like, "what?!?!?!" I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing and my thoughts went to all the symptoms she's complained of lately...stomach issues, headaches, being really tired, etc...and I started to let my mind wander and think the worst....I called my mom crying...thinking, what if something really was wrong with her???? What would I do? How would I get through it? And then I just prayed, really really hard....
I went to pick her up, she looked fine which made me feel better. (a little, at least) and then I took her right into the dr. They sent her for an EKG and bloodwork, and after all that, they've decided that it was a "vasovagal attack", which is the most common type of fainting, esp. in children and young adults. It's caused when blood pressure drops, reducing circulation to the brain while standing up. It may be due to anxiety, fear, pain, emotional stress or hunger.
Some people are more prone to these attacks and they think that Helayna may be. So, she needs to make sure she eats enough if she starts to feel shaky, she needs to sit down.
It was really really really scary....I told her, while she was lying in the hospital bed, getting her EKG, that her and Mia were going to kill me! I can't keep worrying like that!!!!! To have both my kids in the hospital within a month is just too much!!!
But, thankfully, everyone is fine now....
Halloween was fun...Mia was "Belle", Helayna was a ballerina kitty. They were both very cute...and we celebrated 3 times!
We had our small group Halloween potluck, a church potluck that I organized and then Halloween night. We went trick or treating with Mia's best friend, Faith and her parents. Helayna went with 5 friends in our neighborhood and then they all spent the night..yes!...I am crazy, I know! But, they were so good and I like having them here, so I know where my kid is....and they're all good kids. They were home early and were so good, I hardly noticed there were here....well, that may be exaggerating...but they were really fine. I enjoyed having them.
Mia's birthday is in one week!!! She's going to be 6 and I cannot believe it!
We're having a party for her on Sunday. One of my friends does dress up bday parties, so she's coming over and Helayna and her friends are going to help. They're going to dress up, get their hair, makeup and nails done and do a fashion show. Then, we're having some people over for pizza that night.
Helayna and Eric leave for Haiti next Wednesday! They'll be gone for 10 days...I am trying so hard not to be nervous about Helayna going, since I've been stalling for about 2 years...I never wanted her to go but I feel like it's time for me to "let her go" and so I am going to do that....she is so excited and I know Eric's so excited to bring her with so she can see what he does there.
He just loves it there and I have this feeling that she will too. I am just going to pray and pray and know that God will take care of her and keep her safe....and look forward to when they come back so I can hear all about it and see pictures. And I'll talk to them while they're there...even if it costs $300 like last time! (yikes!)
So, please pray for them while they're there...and also for me and Mia while we're home.
That's all I have time for right now....
xoxoxoxo
Mich
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
NEW EXCITING NEWS!!!!!
Well, we have some good news that may come as a shock to you, or maybe not...................
We have decided to adopt a little boy from Haiti!!!!!
His name is Sebastian and he is 5 months old. I'm still not quite sure how it all happened but I will try and tell you what I know...
I spoke to Eric on Friday while he was in Haiti, and I asked him if there were any new babies in the orphanage. (Why I asked this, I have NO idea) He told me yes, there were 3 new babies.
So I told him to take some pictures of them and send them to me. Still, not sure why I asked him to do that.....I had no intention of EVER adopting from Haiti, even though it was something Eric always made clear he would love to do.
So, he went in the "baby room", which he hadn't really done up until this point since he's not really a "baby person" and he held all 3 of them. When he held Sebastian, he said he felt like he really responded to him. But even before he told me that, I saw the pictures of the babies and didn't feel much of anything with the 2(other than they were cute...), but when I saw him, I couldn't stop staring. He is so adorable and his eyes just drew me in. It wasn't exactly like when I first saw Mia's picture, but I have to say, it was pretty close. The more I looked at him, the more I started to feel like maybe this could be our son...
So, I told Eric to take a ton of pictures and video...
When he came home, he showed me the pictures and when I watched the video, I started to cry!!!! I think, that was the moment I knew...
But, I didn't want to rush into things because of emotion, so I told him I didn't want to officially decide til tomorrow. So we put him on "prayer hold", which is what you do when you think you may want to adopt a child.
So, since then, I've been looking at his pictures and video, praying about it, talking about it and I have not had one moment that tells me NO. I even wake up thinking about him and feeling happy....I feel like it's the right time (since it takes like 2 years!), he's the right age (he'll come home around the same age Mia was,which is 2 1/2), we aren't getting any younger (40!!!) and since Eric's on the board at the orphanage, we can pretty much go visit any time we want. The $$$ of course, is an issue, but we never worried about it with Mia and if this is meant to be, we know it'll be fine. God will provide what we need to bring him home.
I think I've been fearful for a long time, due to a lot of things, but mostly the way I've been feeling, physically. And in turn, emotionally. I wake up pretty much every morning and feel very tired and not very well and the doctors haven't really been able to figure it out yet. I've taken lots of tests, done a sleep test, tried different medications but nothing seems to work yet. But, I figure if I keep waiting and waiting, what if I never feel "perfect"? Then, I will have missed out on a chance to bring a little boy into our family, which is what we both really want. So, I will continue to try and figure out how to feel better and in the meantime, pray that I have the energy and strength to do what I need to do with the adoption. And where I leave off, that's where God comes in and gives me what I need to get through.
We may have blindsided some of you with this. Although, I'm pretty sure you knew this was something that was coming eventually, although we thought it was going to be from Vietnam, but as in Mia's adoption, what we originally thought wasn't what ended up happening...God seems to work that way. Once we think we know something, He throws us a curveball and changes everything! I've learned to love it!
I'm still reeling from all this, but in a good way. When I look at his picture, I just smile and feel love....
I hope you will too, once you meet him.
We've talked to Helayna and Mia about this, and they both are excited about their little brother. Which is quite amazing, since Helayna didn't want us to adopt again anytime soon. But, with this little boy, we're all on the same page. She just smiles when we mention his name. It's so cute!
And she's going to get to meet him in November, when she goes to Haiti on a mission trip with Eric. I thought of going with them, but she really wants it to be a daddy/daughter bonding trip, so I want to honor that. So, I figure I'll go and meet him sometime in early 2010, which is something I never thought I would do...go to Haiti!!! Wow! How a life can change overnight!
I figure that Helayna's the next best thing to me...she can give him lots of love, hugs and kisses and take pics and video for me...that should hold me over til I can go meet him in person.
So.........The wonderful craziness of adoption begins again.....
Please pray for us.:)
xoxo,
Michele
Friday, July 31, 2009
Mia's 3rd Adoption Day Anniversary!!!
:)...........Celebrating with Family and Friends..........:)
Me and my sweet girl
Missy, Nic and Mia
Me and Mia
Chloe, Nic and Mia
Friday, July 10, 2009
A special person who we will miss dearly.....
But, to anyone who knew him, I know they would say that they could never tell that he was so sick. He always had a smile on his face or was making jokes and he never complained. Even when he'd be totally out of breath from walking up a few stairs, he would just stop, rest for a minute and go on. He just didn't "act" sick.
So, I think that's part of the reason some of us are so shocked that he's gone. Even though I knew how sick he really was and Eric and I knew and talked about this day coming, it didn't prepare us for the reality of it.
I just can't imagine the Schweig family without Gary. I don't think I could be in a room with him for more than 5 minutes without cracking up. He always made me smile and always made me feel loved. I felt like he was my 2nd dad, especially after my dad passed almost 2 years ago.
He and Eric have always had a special relationship and I'm going to miss seeing that between them. They had all these silly jokes and saying between them and I've never seen Eric laugh harder than with his dad.
And then, if you got his sister with the two of them...watch out! It was nonstop laughing...for me, at least! I keep saying that at least part of Gary will always live in his kids and now, with Helayna. I see that same type of relationship with her and Eric that Gary had with his son and it's so heartwarming and kind of funny, that a sense of humor can be passed down from generation to generation.
Helayna also had a special bond with her grandpa. He always joked around with her and I think it's part of why she has a thick skin now. She loved him very much and was devastated when I told her that he had passed away. I'm not sure I've ever seen such sadness in her eyes. It broke my heart to see my daughter go through that kind of pain. It makes me so sad that my daughters are left without any grandfathers now. It's such a wonderful thing to see, your father with your kids and it's something I will treasure forever, with my dad and also with Eric's dad. It's so hard, because I wonder sometimes, if it's better to love someone so much and then lose them or to not have ever loved that deeply. I think I may be able to argue both sides. But, ultimately, I think the deep love wins out.
To remember my dad with Helayna are some of the most precious memories I will ever have and I would never want to give those up. And now, with Gary...I think about how little was when Nikki (Eric's sister) got married and I have a picture on my wall of her sitting on Gary's knee and they are looking right at each other. It's so sweet and just reminds me of the love between them. I would never want to take that away from Helayna.
It's just so hard to watch your kids hurting and I feel like Helayna has been through a lot in her 13 years already. Part of me believes that this is what has made her into the wonderful girl she is now and also has made her strong and able to deal with change, loss and other difficult things. But the other part of me just wants to put her in a bubble, where nothing bad ever happens.
She was only 5 years old when our baby, Faith was born and looking back, I feel like she acted like she was 10! I remember her being so mature and dealing with it all so well...probably even better than me. When we lost Faith, it was devastating to our family, but we got through it together and with God's strength and peace.
We moved to Arizona when Helayna was 8 and this was a HUGE change for her (and all of us!). But I don't remember her EVER complaining or regretting the move. She just went along with it, doing the best she could, even though she missed her family and friends. She was strong and got through it, making friends along the way and adjusting very well.
In 2006, my dad passed away from lung cancer after being diagnosed only a year prior. This was a huge loss for our family, especially for me and Helayna. My dad used to come over ALL the time when Helayna was little, always bringing her presents and making time for us, taking us to dinner, playing with Helayna and just spending time. So, when he passed away, it was completely and utterly shocking and I didn't know how I would live my life without my dad. I still wonder how I do it sometimes, I miss him so much. It's still painful to think about, but then I smile thinking of all the good memories of him with Helayna. When he died, Helayna lost another important person in her life, but got through it.
Then,after being homeschooled since 1st grade, we put Helayna in a charter school for the first time last year. (7th grade) I thought it would be a really hard adjustment for her, but looking back, I think it was harder on me! She did so well,made tons of friends and I'm so proud of her.
This was another stepping stone for her and in her faith, I think, and I believe that God has carried her through all these things, teaching her valuable lessons each time.
I feel like she is meant for big things in the future and I think with all these tragedies in her life and her getting through them, she has come out a stronger and more resilient person and it will benefit her in her adulthood. This is what keeps me going, when I think about her sadness right now and how she misses her grandpa.
I'm not quite sure how this turned out to be all about Helayna, but I guess she's on my mind right now because I just told her today, after she got back from church camp where she had been for the week. It was a struggle, trying to decide if we should call her at camp and tell her, if we should drive the 2 hours to pick her up and tell her, or if we should just let her have her fun and tell her when she got back. We chose the last and I believe it was the right decision. Although it was so hard for me not to be there with Eric and didn't feel right, I think it was the way it had to be.
We are all going to miss Gary so much and I think it's going to take a long time for all of us to heal from this loss. I have known him since I was 15 years old and I loved him very much. I will always remember his sense of humor and his resilience even in the midst of sickness and pain. He had such a wonderful attitude that I think we can all learn from and try to emulate. We all have aches and pains, but we need to focus on the many many blessings we all have instead of the negative.
For me, I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters who make me smile every single day. I have a mom who is moving here to be close to all of us (yeay!!!) and I am so thankful for that. I have a sister who is also my best friend and another sister who is by marriage,but as special to me as if she were my blood. I also have nieces and nephews who I love dearly and other kids who are like family that I love very much too. And the friends we have made over the years....I can't even imagine my life without them. So many have touched our lives in ways I can't even explain and I am so grateful for that. Our church family has been one of the biggest blessings and they have shown us the meaning of "loving and serving others". I can't tell you how many phone calls, emails, fb messages and offers of help we've gotten this past week. We both are truly touched.
So, when I am not feeling well or going through something, I am going to try and remember Gary and be positive. Have a sense of humor always...especially about myself. Not be so serious. We have ONE life...we need to enjoy it!
And one more thing I've learned this week...we NEED to tell people how we really feel about them NOW,and not wait. We NEVER know how much time any of us has, and if we don't speak up, we may never get the chance.
I am so happy that the last time I saw Gary in the hospital, the last thing I said to him was "I love you". We all need to do that. NOW.
Here's to you, Gary....Dad.....Grandpa......"My Father"(as Eric called him).....We will always love you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Summer 2009
Sue and Mia BFF's!
Me and my fam on father's day
the girls with their grandparents
sweet baby Dani
me and my "playgroup" friends
Hello all ,
Me and my fam on father's day
the girls with their grandparents
sweet baby Dani
me and my "playgroup" friends
Hello all ,
It's been a while, so I thought I'd post an update on what we've been up to lately.
We just got back from a long trip to IL. Eric's dad is in the hospital with COPD, among many other things and we were all very worried and scared and wondered if he'd make it this time. It's been a long road since he had a heart transplant about 12 years ago, also a kidney transplant and he's never been perfectly healthy since. He's been in the hospital multiple times and it's just been a hard life for him and for his wife. Eric was really scared this time, so we planned a trip home and it ended up that he started to get better. He is now in a rehab center, so we're very hopeful that he will recover and be able to go home. Lots of prayer...
Good news....my sister in law, Nikki, had a new baby!!!! She was born on June 10 and her name is Danielle Paige. She is a beautiful 9 lb 1 oz red head and I just love her! I only got to spend a few days with her and I miss her already. She is adorable and her big sister Ali, is so sweet with her and calls her "my baby sister" in this adorable little voice....oh, they are so cute! Mia had so much fun playing with her cousin. They are 2 years apart and pretty much the same size. Very cute...
While we were in IL, we stayed with our long time friends, The Vosburgs. It was like staying at a 5 star resort! They took such good care of us, we had the whole basement to ourselves, complete with a bedroom, bathroom, pool table, theatre room and more....It was so wonderful to be with their family and to have some quality time. They are such great people and always so fun and positive. We stayed up late most nights, hanging out with Matt(24) or Stephanie(21) and just had fun, talking and laughing. We also got to see Melissa's (31) new condo which she just moved into. It's so pretty and it was so great to see what she's accomplished.
I also got to visit with my high school friends, Laura and Cindi and their kids. We went out to Cindi's house and just hung out for a few hours. It was so fun but not enough time.
We had pizza one night with our Crystal Lake friends, too. 4 couples and lots of kids...so good to see everyone.
Finally, after 11 years, Eric graduated college!!!!!!!!! He is now a DePaul graduate and has a bachelor degree in psychology. I am so proud. We loved seeing him walk on the stage and get his diploma. Now he wants to go back and get his masters.....yikes!
And last, but not least, me and the girls spent the night at my mom's and helped her to pack up for her big move to AZ!!! I could not be more excited about her living her and finally seeing her more than 2 times a year. It means so much to me that she will be here for the every day life and see my kids grow up and spend quality time with them on a regular basis. Also, that I will be able to be there and help when she needs it. It's been so hard being so far away and not being able to help when I want to. So, this will be a blessing for us all.
We don't have much else planned for the summer. Helayna only gets a month off so we're trying to make the most of it by not planning too much and just relaxing and spending time together. Yesterday was "sister day" (they planned it themselves) and they made play dough (yes, I said MADE it) and just played all day and then had a "sleepover" together in the loft. Very cute....it warms my heart to see them getting along so well and having so much fun.
We may try and go to the Grand Canyon this summer and maybe do a couple other weekend trips, but we'll see. Arizona has so much to see and so close by, that we can drive to. So, I want to take advantage of that.
Yesterday was Mia's 1st swim lesson of the summer. Her teacher said she is a fish and she will be a great swimmer one day. She said that she will for sure be able to be on the swim team next year! She can already swim on her own, jump in, go under, etc...so she will just be learning the different strokes. Yesterday she learned freestyle and 2 others that I forget the names of. I am so proud of her and it is so much fun to watch her in the pool. She just loves it!
Well, that's my update for now. I will try to write more than I have been lately.
Until next time...................xoxoxo
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