Mia's 5th birthday

Well, my little "baby" turned 5 yesterday and I can't believe it! It seems like just yesterday we brought her home from Vietnam when she was 2 1/2...where does the time go?

Mia woke us all up at about 7am, running around singing "it's my birthday! It's my birthday!!!!", all giddy and happy. I truly have never seen anyone so excited about their birthday before, it was precious!

So, we all got up and of course, she wanted her presents first...so, she opened a baby doll from "Sissy" (Helayna), a pretty shirt from Sally, money (which she was very excited about!) from the Vosburgs and a few cards from friends and family. She also opened up some clothes from us...

Then, we all had donuts for breakfast, which was Mia's request. After breakfast, we gave her our big gift which was a princess bike! She was so excited and wanted to ride it right away. So, we went outside and played for a while, since the weather was so nice.

Helayna had fun riding the 12" bike too:)

Mia and Helayna played with her new doll for a while and then, after lunch was her party at the Little Gym.

About 15 of her friends came and they all had SO much fun. The person who ran the party was AWESOME and engaged the kids so well and had everyone laughing, running around and playing the entire time. I was so impressed, as we've had many parties but never had someone so great with the kids.

Little Gym is like a gymnasium for little kids where they can run, swing, balance, play with balls, bells, and just have lots of fun.

After they played for a long time, we went and had cake (which I ordered online and it came out beautifully) and opened gifts. They set up mats to look like a throne for Mia to sit on, so she was about 4 feet off the floor. It was so cute!

She got lots of great stuff that we've been playing with every since and lots of cute clothes too.

I looked around and felt very blessed to have so many friends and family to share her special day with. I just wish the rest of our family was there with us:(

We went to dinner at Olive Garden (also Mia's request...to have pasta) with Marla, Tom and the kids and when we got home, Mia was exhausted...I think she had her quota of fun for the day...and had a little meltdown before falling asleep for the night. 

She had such a great day and I feel so thankful for this beautiful, sweet child that God has brought into my life. This is the 3rd birthday we have spent together and each year, I love her even more. 

She is so silly, loving, sweet,smart, beautiful, and says the funniest thing sometimes...and I just can't imagine my life without her. I think about all the time I spent praying for her to come home and like I've said many times before, now it was all worth it. But looking at her now, just proves to me that God is good. He knew that she belonged in our family and brought her to us in His time. I truly thank him every single day for this precious child and feel so much love for her, it almost hurts. 

When we sang "happy birthday" to her, it took so much for me not to cry. Just looking at her sweet face, I felt more blessed than I can even explain. To spend another birthday with her and see her smiling face means everything to me. To know that she is happy and has love surrounding her makes up for the 2 years she spent without a family. Well, it may not make up for it completely, but I know in my heart that she is where she is meant to be and that makes all the difference. I hope and pray that she always feels completely loved and knows how special she is to me.

Happy Birthday, sweet Mia Kim!

I love you so very much.....

thoughts on adoption...

I just put Mia to bed and read her a book, like every other night. But tonight, I cried while I read to her. The book was called : Shaoey and Dot and it's a book about adoption. The baby in the story is in an orphanage and there's a ladybug that stays with her until she's adopted by her family.

This is the part where I cried...........

"See, I've waited till now to tell you this story.

It's about all the reasons you cry.

Sometimes it's because you feel sick, tired ,or hungry,

And sometimes you just want your pants dry."

"But, then, there's a cry that's the saddest of all.

In fact, it's unlike any other.

It comes from a deep, empty place in your heart

That can only be filled by a mother."

It just brought me back to that time that I waited and waited for Mia to come home. I felt such an ache in my heart and an emptiness in my soul that I can never explain to anyone who hasn't gone through adoption themselves. It's unlike any other feeling I've ever had and so very painful. To know that your child is in another country, needing love, affection, someone to love them as only a mother can. And you can't give that to them...it's very difficult to deal with. It's a literal ache, as the months go on and all you want to do is hold that child, tell her you love her, kiss her face and rock her to sleep. Help her when she's not feeling well, change her clothes when she's dirty, calm her when she's upset, just give her the love that she deserves and longs for. And you can't....all you can do is sit and wait....and wait...........and wait.................and pray, of course.

Reading that book brought back all those feelings for me like they were yesterday. I remember getting a picture of Mia from my agency, as I so often did (which was wonderful) but this time, it wasn't so pleasant. She was sick, had a horrible rash on her face and was lying on the tile floor in the orphanage. She looked miserable. All I could think about was how desperately I wanted to be there to make her feel better....to hold her and comfort her and give her a cool bath. It was torture not being able to help my sick baby...it was such a motherly instinct that at the moment, I knew for sure Mia was meant to be my daughter...and no matter how long it took to get her home, God will bring her home to me...

And He did. Not in my time, but in His. And I may never know why it took so long, and in the end, does it really matter? All that matters is that I have my baby girl home now, where she belongs and now I can truly be her mother and comfort her whenever she needs comforting, tell her I love her 20 times a day, give her tons of hugs and kisses to make up for all those years I wasn't there and just love her like a mother should.

God is good....and so is the gift of being a mom. 

9/16/08 Adoption Update

Hi all,

This is an email I recieved from our adoption agency, Children's Hope International regarding what's going on in the adoption world right now. It's really sad and I just feel for all the kids who are going to suffer because of this mess. The saddest part is that none of this changes how many kids still need families and will go on living in orphanges and foster homes while they figure all of this out. They are the ones who lose out on living in loving families and it just breaks my heart to know this. We can only pray that this situation is resolved soon.

Read on:

What’s Happening in International Adoption and with Children’s Hope?

I sincerely want you and all families working with Children’s Hope International to have assurance and understand the restructuring that Children’s Hope is going through because of certain changes in international adoption.   

Basically, all adoption agencies are scrambling to re-invent themselves according to the new realities.  So is Children’s Hope.  Here are some examples of what is happening.  

• China referrals have slowed to perhaps 1/4^th of what they were.  The current wait time for referrals is 32 months and still climbing.
• Vietnam adoptions continue for families who already have referrals but no new applications until if/when the U.S. and Vietnam authorities sign a new memorandum of agreement.
• Guatemala was the second largest destination for adoptive families and it has been closed to new adoptions.
• Most countries have been very slow in giving referrals causing the wait time in most countries to increase.  
• Korea is making announcements regarding closure of international adoptions by 2012.

International adoption agencies are reporting that new restrictions and fewer referrals are creating a crisis for them and that is certainly true with Children’s Hope. 

This year the Hague accreditation process was inaugurated for certain countries which have signed to be in that process.  

Of the countries where we work, that includes only 

China

Colombia. 

These are the only two countries we work with that require Hague Accreditation in order to accept new applications.  Because we have not get received Hague accreditation, that means CHI cannot take new applications, but all CHI families with dossiers already in the country are ‘grandfathered’ in and can complete their adoption using Children’s Hope.  Not to worry  

We have a few families in process of completing their paperwork for China and when we receive those they will be transferred to a sister agency who will submit it in country.  Otherwise the CHI families with dossiers already in country should complete without any problem.   

We are still able to submit dossiers to Colombia as long as the family has an I-600a.  Any others we will work to submit through a sister agency.  

 

It does NOT apply to
Russia

Kazakhstan nor

Ethiopia 

These are not “Hague Countries” and we are pleased to say everything is proceeding reasonably well.  At this time there is no need for you to be concerned at all about “Hague” accreditation in these countries;  Russia is slow but moves forward steadily.  Kazakhstan is slow and has its own requirements.  Ethiopia is all sunshine.

 

Vietnam is in its own category:  It does not require an agency to have Hague Accreditation but it is now closed to all agencies in regard to new applications until a new Memorandum of Agreement is signed between the U.S. and Vietnam .  When / If that agreement is signed, it is likely that Vietnam will require Hague accreditation.  

 Vietnam  

Meanwhile, the CHI dossier waiting list remains the same. Everyone keeps their place in line and nothing changes.  If/when Vietnam decides to return all the dossiers logged in with DIA, those dossiers will be held in our HCMC Vietnam office until a new agreement is reached.  When the new agreement is reached and if CHI does not have our Hague accreditation, we would work with one or more agencies to smoothly transition families to those agencies to complete their adoptions.  CHI will not abandon you and you will be taken care of through the end of your adoption.

 

 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: 

1. Is Children’s Hope International continuing to seek Hague accreditation through the COA (Council on Accreditation)?  Yes, we are. Vigorously.
2. What is the COA?  They are the accrediting agency contracted by the U.S. State Department to give approval for Hague.
3. Is Children’s Hope International accredited by COA.  Yes we are, and in good standing since 2002, and are now reapplying through them for “Hague” approval.
4. Is Children’s Hope licensed / accredited / or approved by the authorities in China , Colombia , Russia , Kazakhstan , Vietnam , and Ethiopia ?  Yes we enjoy the honor of being approved and commended by in-country authorities in all these countries.
5. Can you trust Children’s Hope to complete your adoption directly or with the assistance of a sister agency?  Absolutely.. We are in relationship with sister agencies that have agreed to work with us if needed, to complete your adoption or to complete any portion.   Also you should know that if your file is transferred to a sister agency, it will not negatively affect your scheduled referral at all.  Your LID remains constant.
6. Why didn’t you get “Hague” approval this time around?  We have now determined that it was because of two former Russia department staff who forged names and misused their notaries.  In so doing they violated the law and the principles of this agency.  That was more than 15 months ago, but we understand that Hague feels there needs to be more time elapsed before approval.  We have put in place an approved Corrective Action Plan to ensure absolutely clear use of cross-checking and notaries on all documents. 
7. Why did you close your branch offices? As you can see from the above or get from the nightly news and the internet, International adoption has taken a drastic downward turn in the last 18 months. In an effort to adjust to these changes about six months ago we closed 8 branch offices to save money.   As a part of our restructuring and necessary cost saving, we made the decision for all adoption processing to be centralized in the main office in St. Louis . We closed 8 offices at that time and 7 remained open only for Social Services such as post-placement reports.  All families had been transferred to the St. Louis office but the branches continued to help families with social services such as homestudies and post-placement reports.  When the largest number of cased were resolved, the remaining were transferred to other agencies in that state.
8. Why have all families been transferred to the St. Louis central office?   For two reasons:  One, because we have a strong staff in the home office in St. Louis who are in touch with everything that is going on with the latest changes in the countries. The second is, that with the limited number of new applications coming, it was not financially feasible to keep the offices open.   I understand how nice it is for you to have a more local person to work with and I regret that we cannot continue that – but we just cannot.  We do promise to serve you well from our central office. 
9. Are you going out of business?  No! There is absolutely no such intention or danger by closing our branch offices and downsizing our staff.  We are still strong and want to stay that way to serve you in the completion of your adoption.
10. Is Children’s Hope for sale?  Unreal.  We have talked with sister agencies about cooperating with them for services until we can get our Hague accreditation, but nothing more.  Beware:  Chat lists are not the sources of good information.  We are a ministry to help orphan children find homes, health and hope.  We are not a business.  Our Foundation continues to find ways for thousands of orphans to be helped who will never be adopted.  We have raised over one million dollars in goods and services in China alone the first part of this year and are praying to God for the means to help many more in many countries.
11. How many adoptions will Children’s Hope complete this year?  Based on the first 8 months, it should be about 450.
12. Are we shutting down our Yahoo Groups?  Yes, we can no longer maintain these sites.  Please call your adoption consultants if you have a question or problem.  They will be able to give you the correct information.
13. How can we help Children’s Hope?

a.      Believe in us.  We are your agency and are totally committed to completing your adoption for you.  We will not let you down.

b.      Support us in our efforts to make it happen for you.  We are supporting you and will do whatever it takes humanly speaking.  We pray daily as a group for God’s favor and wisdom in all things.

c.      Pray for us.  The staff is working hard and getting fired at, sometimes viciously, by some people who believe the rumors of chat groups – but refuse to believe the simple truth.  How can that help?  An email of support will go a long way toward lifting them up.  I believe that probably 95% of adoptive families are sensible, understanding and rational.  We would like to hear from you too.

d.      Be patient.  We didn’t cause the long wait in China or create the political snafus in Vietnam .  Please don’t blame us.  A wonderful child is waiting for you but not on the schedule you started with.  How can it help to complain or blame?

e.      Be understanding, please.  In your own personal budgeting or in your personal business, did you ever have to make changes to make it work out?  We did but we are still here and plan to be here for a long time to come. 

f.        Don’t worry.  We are going to be here for you and have made every provision financially and otherwise to complete your adoption and see you through to the last post-placement report.  Really!  We cannot regulate what governments may do, including our own, but we can promise you that as long as there is a door open we will be going through it with you.  

I plan to communicate with you at least every month about general adoption matters.  Program directors will also be sending out regular emails regarding specifics within your program.  

I pray that God will guide and bless you with success in your work and family,  

Dwyatt Gantt

Executive Director
(314)812-1799 Direct Line
dwyatt.gantt@ChildrensHope.net 

Home Office
11780 Borman Drive, St. Louis , MO 63146
Tel: (314) 890-0086 - Fax: (314) 812-1819
www.ChildrensHope.net Help an Orphan!  CLICK HERE

 

Helayna starts 7th grade

Eating breakfast before school

Look mom! I can tie my own shoes!

Ready to go!

Kendall and Helayna, all set for 7th grade!

Well, Helayna started going to school after me homeschooling her since 1st grade!

I still can't believe it sometimes, as I really thought I'd keep her home for at least 2 more years and possibly, through high school. Eric always thought we'd send her to high school and I would just ignore him when he talked about it... I just didn't want to let my little girl go....

When we originally decided to homeschool her, she had been going to a private Christian school for preschool and pre K. It was great and I had no complaints, until we got the bill for 1st grade! Eric took one look at it and said, "Ok, why don't you homeschool her?" I had been talking about it since she was 2 years old and felt like it was something that God wanted me to do, but Eric was never 100% sold on it. He thought like most people do that don't know about it, that it was "weird", that homeschooled kids aren't "socialized" and that they basically sit in a room by themselves and become social outcasts...

Well, after doing it for 6 years, I can say that none of that is true...at least for Helayna. I'm sure there are those rare cases where weird things take place, but that happens with kids that go to school too. Helayna thrived while being homeschooled, had tons of friends, went on field trips all the time, participated in science, history and art fairs and got mostly A's. (with a few exceptions, of course!) As the years went on, it became more challenging for both of us. Less kids are homeschooled in the later years and her friends started moving or going to school. We would still attend "park day" once a week where she did PE and hung out with friends, but she was becoming more and more resistant to going. I didn't like to see this in her, since she is normally so social. I started thinking that maybe we needed to find another homeschool group with older kids. But when I researched it, nothing appealed to me.

I talked to friends that had sent their kids to school, friends that were thinking about it, friends who already had kids in school and nothing was ever clear to me. I would change my mind from week to week. When I would ask Helayna if she wanted to go to school, she could never give me a yes or no.

Part of this, I'm sure was due to fear of the unknown and also thinking that I didn't want her to go.

So, about a year or so after I started having these feelings of "should I send her, or shouldn't I?", I got a card in the mail, advertising a new charter "preparatory" school that was opening in the fall. It said on the front "Prep for college, Prep for Life" and that intrigued me.

So, I read on and was intrigued even more. No other school before had ever interested me enough to even find out about it but this one did.

So, I showed it to Eric and Helayna and we went to an information meeting. After listening to the principal talk about the school and their vision, we were hooked instantly. I felt like God told me "This is the place for her!". So, I went for it and told her she could go.

Well, of course, I had second thoughts a day or two later, thinking, what am I doing? I'm letting my daughter go,who I've had home for 6 years...and I don't want her to go!!! I want her home with ME, I want ME to be able to protect and influence her, ME, ME, ME....and then, I realized..........it's not about ME! It's about Helayna...and God told me to let her go...and not just to school...to let her go....and grow up like she needs to. Make her own decisions, mistakes and learn from them. Let her go and explore things a kid needs to explore, let her go and experience life as a teenager (yikes!), let her go and live her God-given destiny. I can't do that for her, she has to do it on her own. Of course, the one thing I can cling to is that we have laid a foundation for her and she can't lose that. She may push it aside, but it will always be there.

Her relationship with God and her relationship with us will always ground her, I hope, and although she may have moments where she will stray, I have to believe she will always come back.

I have to trust that God has a plan for her and she has to find that on her own. I also have to trust that He will protect her and hold her safely in His arms.

This is the only way I have been able to let go of my hold on her. It's a hold that I needed to have when she was younger, but as she has grown, it needed to be let go of. I will still be here for her, whenever she needs me, to guide her, help her, love her and discipline her when needed. And we are still going to have rules, but they will be a little more lenient as she earns trust from us.

She has made us so proud and is becoming exactly the young lady that I always hoped she would be. She is responsible, honest, trustworthy and caring. Of course, she can be a big stinker at times, but it wouldn't be normal if she weren't. She has a great relationship with us, with her sister and with her grandparents, aunts and uncles. She is so mature at times, i forget that she's only 12. But then, get her with her friends and I remember how young she really is...they are so silly! But I love every minute of it. I love seeing her let loose and be crazy silly with them. I never want her to take herself too seriously. But, I do believe she knows the time and place for that.

Helayna has been babysitting for our church functions and has acted very responsible when she has made a commitment. She loves the kids and already has favorites that don't want her to put them down!

She is loving ballet and tap and is even thinking of trying out for the Troupe. She goes to church youth group once a week and will start going into the community to do outreach with them. She wanted to go to Haiti with Eric next year, but now that she's in school, she is bound by their breaks and her spring break is later than the trip so she won't be able to go this time. (which, to be honest, is ok with me!!!)

Gosh, there's so much more I could write....but I will just say that this is a new chapter in our lives and I'm excited to see where it will take us, especially Helayna.

More soon...:)

Love,

Michele

Mia's 2 year adoption anniversary

Well, today is 2 years since our adoption of Mia became official and I can't believe it.

2 years ago, today, we were in a Vietnam government office, signing papers and swearing to something I couldn't quite understand, but assumed it meant that we would take care of Mia forever and bring her into our family as our own.

Now, 2 years later, it's as if she were always here. I can't even remember our lives without her. The only thing I can remember is a feeling of emptiness and a feeling like there was something missing in our family. Little did I know it was a tiny, 25 lb. ball of energy named Nguyen Thi Kim Ngan!

I still remember the first time I saw her picture on our adoption agency's website 2 1/2 years ago. It was December and the whole adoption process had worn me down. But, my wonderful friend Missy suggested that I look on the website, just to see...and lo and behold...there was my little girl...sucking her thumb and looking at me with those big brown eyes. I knew it right away...and get goosebumps when I think about it. I still get that feeling when I look at that picture.

Then, 7 months later, we were on a plane to Vietnam, not believing what we were actually doing! We had never been out of the country and to be honest, I was quite surprised at how calm I felt about it all. But, now I know it was meant to be all along and God gave me the strength and peace I needed when I needed it.

Our time in Vietnam was wonderful, scary, fun,heartbreaking,HOT,exciting, confusing and a blessing from God, all at the same time. All of us (Eric, Helayna and I) fell in love with the country and the people and definitely plan to go back one day...either to visit or maybe to adopt a little boy?????

The heartbreaking part was spending the day at the orphanage and having to say goodbye to all the kids that were left behind. I remember them blowing me kisses and me, breaking down because I wanted to take them all home.

But the wonderful blessing from God was finally having our family of four together, at last. And although it was a big transition and very tiring at times, it now was like it never happened and Mia has always been in our family.

She is the sweetest, craziest, funniest, most stubborn, smartest,most curious child I know and I thank God for her every single day. She has brought our family so much joy and laughter and I hope that she will know, one day, how much we were missing before she came to us.

I try and explain, in a 4 yr old's language, how she came to be in our family and about the country she left, but for now, I think she just wants to know that we are her mommy, daddy and sister and we love her and will never leave her. The difficult stuff will come later, I'm sure. And although it scares me a little, to have to tell her of a painful past, I know that God will bring us through that too. I have complete faith and confidence in that.

So, on this wonderful day, I am beyond thankful for my family and also for all of you, who have supported us through this crazy thing called adoption. There were times I don't think I could've survived without you all.

Now we're off to eat a Vietnamese meal for dinner!

Happy 2 year adoption day, Mia Kim Elizabeth Schweig!!!

We love you beyond words....

xoxoxo

p.s. Here are some pictures of Mia in her "au doi" from Vietnam. (traditional Vietnamese outift that we actually bought in Vietnam)

7/14/08

Hi everyone,

I thought, since the Haiti blog has been going so well, that I would create one for our family. Since a lot of you live far away, it's a good way for us to keep in touch, let you know what's going on with us and show you pictures and videos.

So, check back often for updates. I think there's a way to sign up to get an email when I post something new, but I'm not sure how to do it yet.

Eric is in Haiti right now, he'll be home this Wednesday. He's been having an amazing time and I can't wait to hear all about everything they've done and experienced and see his pictures and video. I will put some on here when I can.

Things have been pretty calm here since he's been gone.

Helayna was at church camp, so Mia and I were home alone for 3 days. We missed them, but we survived. She's been really good so that's been a blessing. She's been sleeping on a mattress in my room,too. I get lonely, ya know!

Mia had swim class today and is doing so well! Her teacher says that not many kids catch on so fast and can hold their breath for so long! She stays under so long that we start to get worried!

She loves it, though, and is such a little fish! I think she may be on the swim team in the future.

Helayna had a great time at church camp with Parkway. They were gone from Sunday-Friday. They did all kinds of fun and crazy things, like a zip line,canoes, playing bumper soccer, etc...It was a good bonding time for her and her friends, too. They get into small groups after the message and talk about some serious things. It's good for her.

Eric just started a new position at Sprint so he'll be going into the office a couple days a week, unlike the other position where he worked at home most of the time. His office is an hour and 1/2 away, so the gas was killing us but he traded in his Jeep Wrangler for a small car that gets much better gas mileage, so that should help.

As for me, I'm just enjoying having the girls home for the summer and not having too many commitments. With Helayna starting school in the fall for the first time since kindergarten, I'm trying to get used to the idea. it's going to be so different for all of us! Hopefully, it'll be a good experience. I think she's ready and I have to trust that I've given her a good foundation with our homeschooling. i will miss her, though:(

Well, that's it for now...more later.